Grimelda - Soule

Grimelda

circa 1977
By Jean Conder Soule (1919-2008)

Of all the witches in the Wicked Wood
The one who looked like a real witch should
Was Grimelda Snaggletooth Cobweb Claw,
The witchiest witch you ever saw.

Though all of her neighbors for many a mile
Lived in apartments of modern style
Grimelda preferred her old hollow tree
Declaring her house the best place to be.

Now Grimelda's house was filled with things
Like spiders and mice and bats with wings.
They slept in her hat and her rocking chair
And dust and clutter was everywhere.

But Grimelda Snaggletooth Cobweb Claw
Didn't care a bit. She said, "Oh pshaw!
A witch's home is supposed to look
Like a haunted house in a storybook."

She hung out her wash on Hangman's Tree
Where all of the modern witches could see
her patchy aprons and holey socks,
And often, her funny old-fashioned frocks.

"It's quite a disgrace to our neighborhood."
Scoffed Wilma Witch. "I think we should
Get up a petition around the town.
Grimelda's tree should be taken down!"

"Agreed," said the other witches. "You're right.
Grimelda's house is a terrible sight.
She'll give us all a very bad name.
People will think we're all the same."

"I'll write a petition," said Cindera Smogg.
"Do you know she keeps a toad and a frog
And sixteen bats in her living room?
And she hasn't an automatic broom!"

"I'll be the first to sign. You can count me in,"
Squeaked Sarah Screetch. "It's really a sin
The way she brews those wicked brews.
Have you ever smelled her bubbly stews?"

"If we make her stop, we'll have the solution
To half the county's air pollution,"
Said all the witches short and tall.
then they signed their names, both large and small.

Mag the Hag took charge of the crowd.
She screeched in a voice that was clear and loud,
"We'll give Grimelda one week from today;
By then she must pack and move away."

Later that day the witches began
To form their "Out With Grimelda" plan.
They'd march to the tree on Witchcraft Row
And their signs would say: "GRIMELDA MUST GO!"

Now while the witches were planning their march
Grimelda was busily making starch
To stiffen the brim of her funny old hat.
She shooed out a mouse and a sleeping bat

Who were sound asleep in her old stew pot.
(for her starch was made in her old brew pot.)
After she'd finished that household chore
She took out a patchy old dress she wore

When she rode her broom last Halloween.
"That's quite the frumpiest one I've seen,"
Muttered Grimelda. "It's far from new;
But pooh! Who cares? It will have to do."

As she swished the starch with a vulture's feather
She happened to look outside at the weather.
"My!" she exclaimed. "The sky looks black."
Then she raised her rattly window a crack.

There from her house on Witchcraft Row
She saw puffs of smoke in the valley below.
Cried the startled witch, "I do declare!
The apartment house is on fire down there!"

"Girls! Your houses are all aflame!"
Grimelda shrieked as the witches came
Marching up to her house in line,
Each one holding a printed sign.

"Hurry! We've got to do something quick!
Now let me see -- there's a magic trick
For putting out fires. I'm sure I knew it;
But I'm so excited I couldn't do it!"

"Help!" screamed Wilma. "My beautiful rooms!
My closets of clothes! My electric brooms!
They'll all burn up. Oh hurry, please do!
Call the Fire Department --Six--Seven--Five--Two!"

Grimelda hurriedly grabbed her switch
And off she flew like a jet-propelled witch.
The fire Department had reached the spot
When Grimelda arrived, but the old witch got

The fancy clothes. the electric brooms
And the potions and pots from the burning rooms.
She made dozens of trips from the valley below
To her hollow tree on Witchcraft Row.

"Hooray for Grimelda!" the witches cried.
"We're glad to have her on our side.
She saved our treasures. She saved the day!
Grimelda, my dear, you are here to stay!"

Grimelda cackled and then she said,
As she took off the dented hat on her head,
"Now come inside and I'll brew some tea --
If you don't mind the clutter and dust, you see."

And not one witch either large or small
Uttered a single word at all
About patchy aprons or holey socks
Or Grimelda's funny old-fashioned frocks.

And Mag the Hag made a special sign
Printed in letters of fancy design --
UP WITH SPIDERS AND UP WITH MICE!
THREE CHEERS FOR GRIMELDA --WE THINK SHE'S NICE!

© Jean Conder Soule, Witching Time